A web mail I get.

My husband found this web mail and signed my account up to receive it. I did find this last mail interesting and thought I would share it:

{ Introducing a new Keyholder to Male Chastity:

In this edition, I'm going to talk about another common concern that many women have: Is it weird to have chastity play as a regular part of our life’s?

The answer is "no."

Male chastity devices are the second most popular sex toy sold in America. Only vibrators are more popular. When looking at the statistics, male chastity is shown to be very common and accepted in the everyday marriage. This means that many of your friends and neighbors have made the decision, in some form, and brought chastity play into their lives.

Male chastity has been used for hundreds of years in every country in the world, and was even recommended by most doctors during the Victorian era. Today, many couples' find male chastity in order to help save a marriage, spice up the bedroom, control masturbation and/or insure fidelity.

In conclusion, when thinking of chastity play being taboo, weird or wrong, remember it is just a different form of devotion many times and should be look on with an open mind. Behind closed doors we find that chastity is a very common practice, as much as “leaving the lights on”. }

I didn't know this and funny as it is, makes me feel better about the idea.

Husband found something else.

He is bummed the birdlocked didn't work out and I feel for him since he so wanted it to work. He found a device called the PA5000. It is a hard plastic but it doesn't have a ring that holds it in place that can break like the other devices. "We" were wondering if anyone had any experience with it?

Worried heart

My husband was complaining of some pains with the Birdlocked and I suggested him taking it off to look and see if everything is ok. He said "no" at first but after a few hours came back and said it wouldn't be a bad idea. After removing it we found that the skin had swollen and was bruised a little. This was two days ago. Everything seems normal today but my husband had been researching on the internet and did find where men that were anything above average on thickness or length can have these problems.

My husband is very frustrated now because the Birdlocked was the only device he knows about that is "soft" and not hard plastic. He had tried the curve but it was just too big, The CB3000 worked good for him but it is not pliable like the Birdlocked.

I wonder if anyone else has this problem here and if so, what did they do? He is now looking for something else that will fit the needs he has for chastity but also fit our needs.

First one way street

A lot of the pages on the net, post and even things I have found in the keyholder book talk about one way enjoyment. Last night was our first time to try that and it was quite fun. Nothing better than getting to roll over and go to sleep. I did wonder and all most felt bad but my husband really made me feel ok by telling me how much fun he had last night also. When he left for work a few minutes ago I joked that we might have to make that a regular thing and I could tell it pushed his buttons the right way. LOL.

So this part of the game is going to be really enjoyable for me. :)

halloween

Since Halloween was here I thought it a good day that I can remember and had him go back in his device.

My husband explained that the longer he is out of the device the more difficulty it is for him to get comfortable back in it. So I am not sure how long yet for him to be out and in but we are still learning.

Lots of websites talk about the guy being in the device more than out of it. We both have talked about this and both are not sure on that idea. As of now, just playing it by ear.

Parole time

Last night it had been a week and I decided that was enough time for him. I had checked each day with him to see if there were any problems with the device because skin can get pinched and so on. I am not looking to be a cruel person to him.

Things looked just fine and after we talked about it a little. He made me feel better when he pointed out that the last few days he would actually forget he had it on, till he moved or it caught his attention.

He still wants to leave the amount of time in up to me and is happy with the results. I sort of have learned to have some fun with it too. I am not demanding by any sort or expect anything really different out of him but I can use this to my advantage for a late night chocolate bar or cup of coffee from Starbucks. :)

Key points

One key points:

We laid the ground rules for in the beginning that doing nice things for me only when he is in his chastity will not work. I want to be treated the same way all the time. I don't want him to go over the top when he is in just to get out. That is something I read about and the "rewards system" isn't something that will work for us.

No matter how I look at it, he will be a little nicer just because, has he pointed out, the device causes him to think of me since I am the one that will tell him when he can take it off.

Someone pointed out the idea of the "plastic lock" was not as secure as a regular lock. True and we plan to use the regular lock too. But the point of the chastity is not to make it where he can't get out no matter what, it is a symbol that does block him too. Just like marriage, the love and feelings you have for another and the fact you are married should keep someone from cheating. If he wants out and wants to take it off he could, but that isn't the point for him, he wants to have to wait till I say it is ok.

Verbal is the key

I have been more worried about his comfort than I need to I think. I asked the first two nights how things were going and if anything was wrong. My husband insured me everything was fine.

The thing now is how to juggle the "teasing part" and real life without being a downer for me.

One thing I did get out of all the pages and things I researched on chastity is you do not have to have physical contact all the time for the one in the device to be kept on the edge and excited. Little comments here and there go a long way. Yes a "reach around" would get anyone going but can't do that in the kitchen while cooking with the kids.

I figured it out like this. I know my husband loves me and he doesn't have to say it for me to know it, however it is nice to hear him say "I love you". We make a effort to tell each other that because it makes us both feel good when days are going bad or we need a little lift. Same gos for his chastity. I can just say something like, "want to come out and play, oh you cant can you" and it goes a long way with him.

I like the idea that I don't have to get dressed up every night or have him do things for me because it would be too much work honestly. The fact that I can tease him verbally is easy and I can do that anytime. I have physically teased him once but that was when we were going to bed at the same time. Usually we don't I go to sleep way before him.

A new chapter.

Well, things went as planned last night and dear hubby is where he wants to be now.

I couldn't really get a good idea on what to do but came up with a simple yet effective idea.

I had told my husband that I wanted a night out, just us, with a nice dinner and talk time. So we made plans for a nice Mexican restaurant down the street. Was nice to get out of the house and dressed up for a change. I normally don't talk about our "dirty little secrets" that much just because of the kids are around or RL gets in the way. I had decided that once we finished with the meal and were relaxing with a glass of wine for desert I would bring up the topic. Boy did I get his attention.LOL After a little I could see he was ready to crawl out of his skin to get home. On the way home I surprised him by telling him to go get his device and put it on, then let me know when he is ready for me to "lock it". It took him about 30 minutes to get it on since he was all worked up.LOL I didn't help by teasing him a little about it here and there.

Now since he has to go through a metal detector almost daily the device had to be plastic, I also didn't like any hard plastic because of afraid of him getting hurt in it. So he got a device called a Birdlocked. It is thick but soft and all silicone. He also had bought some numbered plastic locks to use that way if he really had to, he could get out in a emergency.

He was a happy camper when I wrote down the Number on the lock and clicked it shut. After that well, you can guess he showed how happy he was.

This morning things are as normal as could be. I was wondering how he would act.

Getting ideas

So my husband let me know that he has got comfortable with his device and wanted to let me know so when I am also comfortable we could start doing things. So the ball is in my court now.

It sounds simple at first, take the keys, he's stuck, I keep the keys. However, there is more there than meets the eye. My husband explained that when he does wear the device it takes him time to get use to it without thinking about it. When he does, he gets excited and can't do anything with it, sort of the point. This then points even more to me because he loves me and also he can't get any relief without me now. So where do I go from here I asked?

From what I have found on the net from others that use chastity in a more (will use the word- relaxed) relaxed setting, so many different ideas come up.

Some use scheduled dates each month, like paying a bill, when they start and stop. (Thought this would get a bit boring after a while)

Dice games have been used where the dice tell how many days.

Marble games, (took too much thinking)

Others use the cycle method, relating to us.

And all other kinds of ideas. up to just keeping the device on all the time. (Which also sounds like it would get boring)

I know from my husband that he is the type that once he gets in the device I will not just be able to "forget about it" and he will wait till I "remember". He gets excited just talking about it. So I will also have to be involved with it.

I am thinking about this weekend giving it a go. we will see

Findings that are interesting.

I have found that most websites and books are focused for the mass population that uses chastity devices in a more kinky setting. I was surprised to find out how many and how wide spread chastity play is.

I always thought normal to be what we have been doing. It seems to me that there is no "normal" more, just different types of interest. My husband said sex and sexual acts are like salsa. So like it mild, medium or hot, non is wrong.

I have always been more of a "mild" type but I also have never known about the other stuff.

Learning the ropes

Since being asked to involve chastity into our marriage I have been trying to find others on my side of the situation. There isn't many blogs or websites that are for vanilla types that want to bring this into the marriage.

I read the Keyholder book sold by Amazon but most of that to me is more of a BDSM setting. I am off to search some more.

Our life with chastity

When he brought up the idea I could not wrap my mind around why he would want to do it. He bought a book about and had me read it. Most of what I read was 'Mistress like" and I really did not want to have my husband at my feet grovelling. He explained he did not want that either. SO I was now confused even more.

So what we agreed with is, we have a weekend a month that our child goes to the grandparents. That weekend is usually our "date" weekend. I try to pick some time before that and have him put his cage on. He wears it till that weekend and depending on the situation is if he gets out. He said he doesn't want to know when he will actually get out.

I am learning more about the teasing and not letting him out. It is fun at times and at times I worry but he tells me not to.

New to the idea.

Hello all.

My husband suggested posting here to get input about male chastity.

We are not a "kinky" couple but we have introduced male chastity into our marriage.

My husband came up with the idea, (I had never heard about it). He doesn't want me to dominate him or whip him or any of that BDSM stuff. He wanted me to control his orgasm's. I am learning how to do the teasing part as we go.

As my husband says, "we are a vanilla couple with a kink".